It’s not really about the Food.

Tanya Unkovich Grief Expert article - it's not really about the food

Grief and overeating, over drinking, at times, go hand in hand. However, it is possible for this to change an no longer be obsessed with food..

For example, you have the choice between Rocky Road and a sandwich and you happily choose the sandwich! Who would have thought?

So this is a picture of the Rocky Road I made last year and what I have made at Christmas time every year without fail for goodness knows how many years…probably 25 years I would say!

Back then I made a heap of it and gave it away as gifts, everyone loved it.

I began making it in early December and the last of it was gone about mid January. I swear if I was to have had a blood test taken during that time it would have read RR+ (Which stands for Rocky Road positive!)

Did I enjoy it…..yes the first few bites….maybe….. 

….however back then I was deep in to my binging and what followed those first few bites was discomfort, forgetting what was bothering me, forgetting my anger, forgetting my pain…. then followed by shame, self loathing and deep despair……especially when I would go to bed.

I would then wake in the night with my heart racing from all the sugar and then awake again the following morning in a deep depressing fog, accompanied by a migraine….and the shame and humiliation of having done it again….binge that is….or break my diet…..

That was back then….when I used food to cover up my grief, my pain, the deep feelings of low self worth that stopped me from truly living.

You know….you think it is about food, but it is not really about the food. It is about life…..and all the other stuff we want to run from.

There have been many times in my life when the food came back, especially during times of great adversity. Now…….things are VERY different.

This is now…..a few days ago just before Christmas…. Me to husband, “I don’t know if I can be bothered making Rocky Road this year, should I make it?” Husband, Yes!! Dark chocolate he requests….sigh….OK I think to myself…..Yes, I will make some…..

The difference between back then and now is that the food isn’t calling me. The chocolate remains in the pantry and is still intact until it is time to make it. The bag of marshmallows hasn’t been secretly opened and resealed.

I made a decision for change….

What is now calling me instead of the food is life, feeling healthy, self love.

I would rather do other ‘life’ stuff than binge on rocky road, I would rather feel my feelings, feel the hurt, live my life than drown them with food. Feelings pass….the effects of a binge lasts for ages….

When we finally decide that something needs to change, then transformation IS possible….no matter how many times you have tried and failed ( I did! ), keep trying.

So if you are still suffering, don’t give up….never give up on yourself. Freedom IS possible.

I decided to replace the shame with self respect….we have one precious life to do it in and one day I finally said NO MORE.

Today I am inviting you to do the same….

Decide for YOU. It is now time….after all, what will it cost you if you do not decide for you?

What if NOW was your time?